Kilts and a Cop
Every night at Dragon con I charge up the leaf blowers and head down to the Marriott lobby to do some Kilt Hunting. I wait until midnight so that most of the kids are in bed and I pick an out of the way place so we don't get in the way of foot traffic. I use hard surface blowers with rechargeable batteries so that there's no exhaust, no power cords, and it's not a strong enough blower to do any damage. I don't actually try to expose any of the guys. I just want to tease and get some good pictures of a moving kilt and a surprised guy. The guys sign model release forms so that I can use the pictures for calendars and playing cards. I've been doing this for years and it gets bigger every year. Sunday night we hit critical mass. There was a HUGE crowed of women and a long line of guys in kilts ready to get blown. The crowed and the screaming women drew the attention of some of the hotel security and the roving police officer. The second guy that I leaf blew had a very light weight kilt and it went strait up and man shlong was everywhere. I got a tap at my elbow and a nice police officer said "Ma'am, you can't do that. I'm going to have to shut this down." Luckily the next guy had a routine with his girlfriend that he had cleared with me and I was able to step to the side and talk to the officer. I asked what in particular he was concerned about and I pointed out all the precautions we'd made. "We make sure the fire lanes are clear, they sign a release form saying they won't expose themselves. I'm not trying to show anything. These are hard surface blowers, no exhaust or cords." The officer is uncomfortable. He doesn't want to cause trouble but he also doesn't want us breaking the law by showing off full frontal. He says that there's children around. I say that's why we wait until midnight to do this. He finally says "Just don't let the kilts go up any farther than they should." I don't say what comes to mind and I thank him profusely and promise to be good. I notice the large hotel security men behind him and I run over. "Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you or if there's anything you're uncomfortable with." The men look very uncomfortable. This is a very large crowed of screaming women and a hair too close to public indecency. I offer to point the leaf blower to the wall. They still make grumbling noises so I offer to just not turn the leaf blower on. They're still uncomfortable but they consent to the compromise. At this point the boy and girl act has finished and the Irishman has finished with his strait jacket routine. I run over to the line of kilted boys. I know that the cop won't arrest anyone but they will shut us down if any of the boys expose themselves and there were some great kilts that I wanted to get pictures of. So even though the cop didn't say so, I told the boys that if any of them show their bits then I'm the one who will get arrested. I also don't know for sure weather or not I'm about to get hauled off to the pokey. I tell the crowed of women that we're going to pretend with the leaf blower. The women explode in indignant outrage. "If women can run around with their asses hanging out why can't we get kilt blowing!?!" The biggest complaint is that there's lots of dragon con costumes that are indecent, why can't we show a little man leg? I have to point out that if a costume is showing bush or nads (or girl nipple) then the security will escort them out. We saw this later that night with a guy who was wearing a horn helmet and a red plastic cup on his nibbly bits. He was escorted out for a quiet discussion and then escorted back to his room wearing a cardboard box. So it is reasonable that they asked us to stop when we were exposing man bits. Maybe man ass would have been fine, but the hairy man balls went too far.
I did loose half my audience when I didn't turn on the leaf blower for the next guy. I overheard one woman say "If there's no leaf blower, what's the point?". But I must admit I got some much better posing. Before, the guys would just stand their awkwardly while I tried to get their kilt to blow in the breeze. But without the blower, they'd hike the edge of their kilt up their leg a little and the girls would scream and they'd shake their butt, making the women yelp with joy. This way the men had more control over how much they showed and how much the women screamed. The guys still had a good time, even without the leaf blower refreshment for their kilted nethers. The women were grumbley but we got some great photos out of it. The police and hotel did let us continue even if it was against their better judgment and I am eternaly grateful to them. We did step over the line and they were trying to keep everyone safe and within the law. We should have moved to another venue long ago. This only confirms it. Next year I'm going to try and get in contact with Dragon Con and set up a room where we can have this in the program book and card people as they come in so we stay within the law. We'll also be able to control lighting and seating better.
pictures of kilt blowing
Really awesome pictures
Post a link if you've got pictures of the kilt blowing
Kilr Playing Cards
ps; please e-mail me if you know who I should talk to about getting a room for leaf blowing at Dragon Con firstname.lastname@example.org